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05-05-2008, 2:21 PM SuperKam Joined on 05-05-2008 Gainesville, Florida, United States Posts 1 Faith vs common Sense I was reading the posts on the Christians and Divorce section. I am headed to my Divorce after 2.5 years of seperation, 3 years of marriage, and 5 years of being best friends. I was active in the church, had established friends in my new home until his temper won and I checked out. No bruising just a hole in the wall, but I just can't return. I get nausiated. i have been strugglng with guilt for leaving, guilt for not understanding, and just plain anger. There have been appologies since I just don't care. I don't really care much about the dreams i had before of having a family, making a home ect.. I am accepting being alone, and not too willing to try either. I am a strong and determined person, but this has done a good job of breaking me. I see that God states we must die in our earthly bodies, but this is a little rediculious. I didn't seek my husband to fill a need, we were best friends and best friends for many years. To this day don't understand, but decided immediatly that I ddn't want to find out how a black eye felt. As a Christian I should be thankful for the events that change us, but again i feel that if God had this planned, I am not too interested in finding out any more in that plan. It has been a struggle since, and my prayers has continued. Prayers to just find some peace. I have studied marriages, asked hard questions, mens' behavior in litature, as to understand them a little more. And so on... I have frogiven him because I have learned that he and I were never given skills to understand how a marriage was to work, and as kids we started out on dreams and each other. The pain still surfaces and is dibilating, and I am terrifed to go to court next week. May God be the glory, i guess.    Report

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