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07-26-2009, 11:22 AM mikesmommy Joined on 07-26-2009 Posts 3 my story, need help! i started dating my (ex husband) when i was15. at the age of 17 i found out i was pregnant. a month later i was married. we stayed married for two years. my son is now turning 3 in august. i am currently trying to work it out with his dad again. my husband has a problem with porn and dating sites and lying. that is why i decided to leave him. its long story and very complicated so ill try and sum it up. i was young didnt even know porn was a issue in the world found out blew up and then it went down hill from there. he lied all the time about it!! i let it get me down and his obsession became one for me to. i would hurry home so he wouldnt look at stuff and it didint even have to be porn it could be a girl from a commercial! i would take quick showers, move picture frames to where i could see what he was watchin when i was cleaning or takin care of the baby. it got extreme. lookin back i feel stupid and somewhat sorry for the young girl i was. we split for a couple months (still married) and i went and met a guy which was wrong extremely wrong. i didnt have sex but things happened that shouldnt have. my husband and i got back together not long after and i didnt tell him for a while. i told him he got upset, blah blah. i am the type person that if you do something wrong well admit it and learn from it. so then he still looked at porn wouldnt hardly talk to me never told me i was pretty didnt appreciate everything i was doing. but it had always been like that so it wasnt just cause i messed up. so i divorced him. things got bad he beat the crap out of me one day and was holding something over my head something that wasnt my fault (something very personal and hurtful i was faced with when i was younger) (this was a way to not pay child support) anyways  i for some reason decided to give it another try with him. its hard being a single mom working 3 jobs while going to college. geez there is so much in the middle im leaving out!!! we are back together my family cant stand him wont let him come around them and at one point they had asked me to choose between him or them. so i visit my family without him. lately he has been lookin up things to try and prove god is not real and blah blah. its killing me. .... im a christian, my ex is not. when you are young like that you dont see that as being important ya know? i want my son to grow up in a good home and go to church and always put god first. my ex is constantly bringing me down. the man is supposed to be the leader of the house and he isnt. idk what i can do to help him. he doesnt pay attention in church wont read any books i buy for him. i just dont know! he lies all the time and still to this day has the same prob he did 7 years ago. im in the same situation i was when i was 17 and i know its my fault but i always thought i could maybe help him and its hard finding someone to trust with your child. i need advice! how do i help him? im so confused!!            Report

07-29-2009, 1:51 PM reese1981 Joined on 04-18-2008 Tennessee, United States Posts 3 Re: my story, need help! First of all he has to want help, and obviously he doesn't. You can't make him do anything. Furthermore you need help yourself. If you take a man back that is beating you then something is wrong with your self-esteem. If he beat you once he will beat you again and that should have been turned in. If he is watching porn all the time then something is wrong with him. Plus you all can't be possibly having sex if he watches porn like that. Something just doesn't add up.    Report

07-30-2009, 7:03 PM Ricky/Denise Joined on 07-28-2009 Posts 1 Re: my story, need help! Mikesmommie,    First let me say that I am so sorry that my brother has treated you this way. No matter what mistakes have been made on either side, this should not be going on.  A man should behave like a man and not a kid.  There is a kid in all men. There is also a king in every kid.  That part of us should be in control.    Second, let me say that the authority to change what is happening in your life is in the Source of your life.  Therefore that authority is in you.  If you are a Christian, then Jesus is alive inside of you.  The Spirit of  The Most High abides inside of you.  So, as Gods' Word tells us, "greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world".    You need to make a decision about your life today.  It is evident that you have some indecision operating in your life.  You must decide to either allow Christ to be the head of your life or not.  If you make Him your choice, you must step aside and allow Him to move on your behave.    I speak to you from the experience of trying to serve God and run my own life.  It wasn't working.  I continued to make bad decisions/nondecisions to the point that I was stuck.  I couldn't move forward or grow until one day I realized that the problem was not around me, it was me.  I had to decide to surrender my will to God.  I am a work in progress, with the accent on the word progress!!!    Report

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